boys.

so recently, my mom has been complaining that most of my friends have PENISES (ok well not phrased like that exactly... but you get the point). these past few days when im at home by myself, ive come to realize that all the usual people i hang out with tend to be... well... BOYS.

and honsetly? i dont see the problem with that. sometimes girls just really suck. they have so many issues that i dont want to deal with. like gossip and PMSing and bitchiness and boys -_-. boys are simpler, easier to get along with, more carefree, less dramatic, and raunchier (HARHARRR). and i suppose, in a way, it reflects my own nature.

and why should friendship depend on gender? i dont see how having a guy friend would be any different than having a girl friend. i guess to my super traditional azn mother, it's a BIG DEAL.

but whatever. i dont really care. id much rather just enjoy the time i spend with my friends :)

Crunch Time

man i really HATE studying.

i hate knowing that there's something i should be doing, but i don't have to do.
i hate that nagging feeling in the back of your mind because you know that horrible test is coming up.
i hate stressing over what's going to be on the test.
i hate wasting time doing things i would never do but i am doing because i know i have to study, but its just so tempting. (kinda like this blog entry.....)
i hate not knowing what to study for, what to look for, what to focus on.
i hate reading or looking at something until you feel like your eyes are going to fall out of your head, but you have to because... well... the test is coming!
i hate not getting enough sleep, and not because you were studying but because you were doing something completely irrelevant.
i hate the moment you start studying, because it's depressing to see how much you have left to study.

and the sad part? i haven't even started -_-

HOME

It's weird. I've never wanted to come home before. I usually love staying in Berkeley, enjoying the independence. Yet, I really felt excited about coming home this time, and it's a great feeling. I suppose wanting to see my friends and being pumped up for DCON totally boosts the feeling of anticipation. I like being at home and not having to worry about anything.

I gots a new phone! It's a Samsung Sway and man is it PRETTY :) Please give me your number if I don't already have it! Thankss :D

There Will Be Blood.
This movie made me effing crazy. Everyone in this movie is crazy. The son is crazy, the oilman is crazy, the prophet is crazy. Oh god, I wanted to shoot myself, or shoot the screen, or shoot SOMETHING. Nearly 2 hours into the movie, I was so restless I almost felt like crying. I wonder about this movie getting Best Picture at the Academy Awards last year. I mean... I guess it's got some profound message or makes some interesting social commentary about oil and religion, but it didn't work for me this time. Usually, I'm totally into shit like that.

I also realized I totally need to declare my major by the week we get back to school. FML.

update.

i guess... im not much of a blogger.

there are things that happen day in and day out that... i really dont want to repeat in these things. but i suppose its time for an update.

i was forgotten today. it happens quite often, but it really did bother me today. i dunno what happened. i usually dont really care that much. its probably cuz im hormonal -_-

tiffany ornedo. i love our dates. i love the effing grass jelly, man. i spill my soul to her, and she cherishes every last bit of it. no questions, no prying, no judgments. and i love her for it.

spring break. i dont really know if ive ever been this excited for spring break. i cant wait to see charity, crystal, and lorry. our winter break was totally cut short from my trip to hong kong so im really looking forward to hanging out with them again. i really miss my high school friends. i miss being stupid.

RELATIONSHIPS. man. this is a big subject. i hate being so vague, but i just... felt like i should document something for myself anyway. there are a lot of things that... im really unsure about. im so confused about... what i feel and what i want. its been a long time since ive been in any real relationship (if the last one even counts as one). i dunno. im pretty lost when it comes to things like this. i guess i got too comfortable with myself and the friends i have and now... i dont know what to do with myself or how to handle certain situations. i hope i dont screw things up =/

FML. i totally left my phone all by its lonesome today. and now its gone! :( oh well. im hoping someone turned it in to UCPD when i check at the lost and found tomorrow. if not then... well, i guess ill just have to live without one for a little bit. im planning to get a new phone over spring break anyway.... what's a few days without a phone...? >.< i mean... people used to live without them RIGHT? mannnnn... who am i kidding -_-

FREEDOM!

I GOT OUT OF JURY DUTY!

HA-HA!

DEVILS.

I mean.... CHILDREN.

Remind me in the future (hopefully not anytime near) if I ever intend to have kids to remember the Music and Arts Festival. I think after that, I will seriously reconsider.

So they're cute and all, but only for about the first 15 minutes or from far FAR away.

Some have attitude. Some scream really loud. Some are divas. Some don't talk. Some crawl around on the ground. Some are annoying. Some are attention whores. Some ask too many questions. Some think they're the shit. Some are smart asses. Some fight with each other 24/7. Some are just plain mean.

I don't remember being like this when I was a kid!

RAWR. I think I just have no patience when it comes to kids -_-

PMS much, weather?

today it....

rained. hailed. shined. poured. (in that order)

talk about weird weather.

Waiting.

So it's like 3am, and I'm waiting for my hair to dry.

After a few hours of dancing at DaTonka's place for the DCON talent show, I really didn't wana go to bed all sweaty and gross :( So i decided to take a shower.... at 3am. and here I am... waiting for it to dry (which takes about 2 hours to FULLY dry... but FUCK THAT. I'm just gona wait 'til it's pretty dry and SLEEP.) and since JEFF LANUZA claims that I don't blog enough, I might as well do it now while I wait.

1. War, Inc.

The most ridiculous satire of a movie I have ever seen. It makes me cringe, laugh, and cry hysterically all at the same time. There's this scene with Hilary Duff (yes, she's in it. and no, she's so NOT a kid anymore, especially not in this movie), who plays a central Asian pop star named Yonica. She sings this song called "Blow You Up." I watched it while Jennie was in the room and she couldn't stop singing it after that. Then Joe hopped on the vocal train and now he won't stop singing it either. I'd like to introduce this madness. Please observe:



omfg. I'm gona shit myself. but I love how Joan Cusack is dancing to the song. HAHA.

2. Akira

I watched this movie in my Film 108 (Asian Horror Film) class and it totally blew me away. I think I'm starting to kinda get into anime movies. They can definitely delve into crazy science fiction and fantasy stuff that live action films aren't able to. And of course, the animation is amazing. The images have so many layers and the some scenes are just so... grotesque. It's awesome.

(this is the English version but oh well...)



3. The Double Helix

I really need to read this effing book. DAMNIT.

I'm such a nerd.

So we watched this video in my bio class about a week ago, and I think it's like the coolest thing in the world.



HEY... no judgments.

Listen.

As I walked home from the Movement meeting, I not saw, not smelled, not felt.

I heard.

The laughing of someone in front of Dwinelle.
The rushing stream water to my left.
The scrape of skateboard wheels on the pavement.
The loud drumming of taiko.
The clack of their drumsticks.
The car door closing in the parking lot.
The scuffle of shoes on the bricks.
The creaking of the door to MLK.
The steps of feet on the stairs.
The steady ticks of the spokes on a bike.
The whoosh of the wind as he passes.
The indistinct murmur of those walking by.
The click of a woman's heels.
The rev of a distant motorcycle.
The zip of a backpack.
The crackling gravel beneath the car tires.
The drone of an older car.
The smooth hum of a sleek, new one.
The yelling of a man on the corner.
The jangle of dangling keys.
The bark of a dog tied to a pole.
The chatter of customers at Chipotle.
The buzz of the glowing neon lights.
The distant drumming continues.
The DINGs of the ATM machine.
The jingle of change in a cup.
The song of a bum at Asian Ghetto.

My front door slammed shut as I entered.

And all of it disappeared.

Cravings.

I love lemon bars.

I don't know what happened. It started on a bright Monday afternoon. We just finished closing the table and I was having my typical date with Tiffany (plus 3 other people -_-). I had already polished off a quesadilla and a cup of horchata but.... I wanted more.

So I went and bought a little piece of a random thing, wrapped in cellophane and not particularly attractive at all. It was insanely expensive for being so little, but I felt like buying it.

And now I'm addicted.

I want to eat lemon bars for the rest of my life.

20.

Happy Birthday Tiffany Ornedo :) I celebrate the day of your existence because I love you.

Happy Birthday Crystal Hsing :D I celebrate the day of your existence because you're just fucking awesome.

it hurts so good.

ok so maybe that sounds a bit sadistic...

but after TL auditions today, ive totally remembered how good it feels to dance again. there's that weird satisfaction of all my hair flying in my face til i cant see through it or sweating madly in the very cold evening air. my back hurts from stretching and my neck hurts from whipping my hair and my knees hurt from bending and turning. uhm so i guess im a bit out of shape but i love it. i guess the awkward post-dance soreness makes me feel back in daily routine. i feel so energized, so excited, so giddy. then i love taking a warm shower to wash it all away.

the freedom is just... amazing.

OBAMERICA

Let it be said by our children's children that when we were tested we refused to let this journey end, that we did not turn back nor did we falter; and with eyes fixed on the horizon and God's grace upon us, we carried forth that great gift of freedom and delivered it safely to future generations.

- Barack Obama

History is written, hope is renewed, America is changed.

I am ready for one of the greatest presidents this country has ever known. And I'm so effing excited.

Eye of the Beholder.

I love movies that make you soar.

The ones that make you take a deep breath and smile at the ending. Not the cutesy ones with a lovey dovey ending or the cheesy happy ones with a lame moral. But the movies that don't quite give you a sense of closure yet make you feel like the world is somehow just a little bit more profound, more meaningful, more beautiful.

Those are the stories that you remember.

Recent movies that have made me feel this way....

Valkyrie
I'm a soldier, but in serving my country, I have betrayed my conscience.

As any other movie, there were mixed reviews about this film. Personally, I thought it was thrilling, epic, and oddly romantic. Not romantic in that kissy kissy I LOVE YOU sort of way, but romantic in that somber, glorified, moving sort of way.

I found this story to be heart-wrenching. After all, everyone knows how it ends because we all know how WWII ends. It cannot be a happy ending. History tells us that... something went wrong. Yet, to watch the entire plot unfold was entrancing. The characters were so passionate about what they were doing and what they believed in. I mean, many of those in the Resistance could have been in Hitler's inner circle but chose to resign instead, simply because they did not agree with what Hitler was doing. That shows true courage. It would have taken much more strength to be a German opposing Hitler than an outsider opposing Hitler, that's for sure.

The ending always loomed before me when I was watching it. I did not want it to end that way. Maybe, by some miracle, the story would end differently and history was somehow rewritten in the course of the 2 hour movie. But nothing changed. It ended with loud gunshots in the silent theater, like a smack to the face. It was so heartbreaking.

All these men, decorated, respected, and powerful in the ranks of the German army, chose to sacrifice their lives for a belief, a cause, an ideal.

I felt so little in my measly existence, but it made me feel so righteous to relive their story. Who knew that such a little piece of history that I had never known would move me so strongly.

Of course, Tom Cruise delivered a solid performance as Colonel von Stauffenberg, not that I had expected anything different. He has a strength and intensity that makes me love to watch his films. His portrayal of Stauffenberg was truly believable. He was decisive, intelligent, and powerful. He was a strong leader and a devoted husband. Admirable qualities for an admirable man. Cruise pulled it off fantastically.

And as I am a sucker for angsty love scenes, here is one of them.

Sword of the Stranger

I am not usually one for anime movies, but this one is pretty amazing.

Do not be fooled by its animated exterior. This film is not one for the kiddies. Filled with blood, gore, and enthralling action sequences, this somewhat cliche of a plot ties along beautifully with the great animation and character development.

The nameless samurai of the film is definitely my favorite character. Haunted by the wars of his past, he has vowed never to use his sword again, choosing instead to tie it shut and only fighting with the sheath on, should he have to. I find him to be any typical reluctant hero. But that does not make the story any less touching.

The nameless ronin is a righteous and kind-hearted man. Though he may have some ghosts in his past, he is not proud of what he has done. His care for the young boy in the story clashes with his hard-ass exterior, but it suits him well. Just let me say it now, I LOVE THIS KIND OF CHARACTER. It totally makes me melt :D

The ending is a beautiful blend of action and musical score. The climactic fighting sequences are placed against a backdrop of instrumental music, making the scene that much more melancholy, that much more beautiful.

The addition of a cute dog doesn't hurt either.

Pushing Daisies <3

I am officially in love with Pushing Daisies.

It is one of the cutest, most romantic, and most creative shows I have seen for a long time. The characters are unique, the language is quick, the personalities are quirky. The sets are bright and colorful while the storyline is tinged with bits of dark comedy.

Not to mention the awesome actors. Ned (played by Lee Pace) is probably my favorite. He is shy and kind, with a huge heart for girlfriend Chuck. Of course, he's really cute too. haha.


I also think this thing someone made is really funny. haha :D

And sadly, it is to end in 3 more episodes :(